小朋友大脾氣,可以點教

twg
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小兒3歲未夠,好臭脾氣,且經常性發作(可以無故發脾氣,每日都會有兩三次),發脾氣時必定打人,大叫,掉嘢
請問可以點教
ryersenmama
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我個仔仔5歲都成日發脾氣!
激死我!
RebeccaChan
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係咪悶呀!同佢玩多D
可能小朋友要做呢D動作引大人注意
Snake
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其實要睇佢的性格, 發脾氣其實好大原因係家人都是這樣的.
又或者係小朋友唔知點表達自己的情緒. 你可以耐性地跟他解釋他這樣發脾氣, 人家唔知道他想表達什麼或要求什麼東西.

如自己不能處理, 可尋求有關機構進行遊戲冶療.
twg
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could you pleaes give me some idea about 遊戲冶療
other than 遊戲冶療, what should/ could we do?
many thanks
snwm
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hi twg,
有沒有看每星期日本港台7:00pm - 7:30pm -
香港電台的 [ 父母學堂].
可能他不憧表達內心感受或他想引你們注意.
試吓 "樽"下身高度跟他一樣, 耐心問他想要什麼.
或者, 來一個擁抱問他為何不開心?
如他發脾氣但換來大聲對罵, 他只會認為你不理他及他覺得受委屈的.
俾些耐心吧!
twg
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hi snwm

thanks for your response
i know my son 想引你們注意
I"ve tried many many times "樽"下身高度跟他一樣, 耐心問他想要什麼. he refuse to listen to us when he was losing his temper
i don't want to 大聲對罵 at him and i'm not always doing that to him, but i want to stop him from shouting and throwing things and hitting me, but i really can't stand his repeated act (every day)
why? why? why my son has such behaviour?!
both me and my husband are getting tired and we're frustrated about his behaviour

Snake
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My friend has go to Heep Hong for game therapy of his son. You could search it in internet. Herewith so info for you.

http://portal2.hkptu.org/modules/wfsection/article.php?articleid=175

星期日的父母學堂都很好,MISS咗可以上港台個網重溫,孩子發脾氣,除了家長本身是這樣之外,多數都是未滿足到佢地,所以用這個方式表達。
或者你問吓佢什麼原因發脾氣,同孩子一齊分享,找出解決方法。要平心靜氣,放下己見,從孩子的角度看,這樣更好。

願主祝福你們!
SandraLo
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twg 寫道:
小兒3歲未夠,好臭脾氣,且經常性發作(可以無故發脾氣,每日都會有兩三次),發脾氣時必定打人,大叫,掉嘢
請問可以點教


通常因セ事發脾氣?你會点處理?最後点收科?
twg
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通常因セ事發脾氣?
以昨日為例:
放學回家食飯,一邊食一邊睇vcd,食完飯睇睇下vcd,我接電話,當我正傾電話時,他突然推倒自己的枱及掉自己正坐著的chair 及大叫

点處理?
我立即收線,問佢咩事掉嘢,佢無理我,仲想掉佢手上的玩具車,but 被我 stop 佢,我同佢講,你掉table & chair,媽媽而家要收起,then i took the table & chair into my room, he cried & shout & hit me & jump & ask me to hug him.

i told him that he's wrong to throw things and hit somebody when he was unhappy. but it seems that he did not listen. he continue to cry and i asked him to stand on a floor tile for 2 mins as punishment.

of course he continue to jump and run to me during that period, then after 2 mins, I carried him to the toilet and I said to him he need to be isolated becoz he failed to stand properly. he still struggle, but at last, he stood better in the toilet for some time (less than 2 mins)

最後点收科?
after that , I gave him a hug and explained why I punished him (1. throw things away;2. hit mami), and I asked him why he throw things away suddenly (he told me the table and chair are naughty) and I taught him next time he should tell me if they are naughty or he could punish them by asking them to stand aside.--->everytime when he calm down from anger, he will tell me this things (excuse/ reason?)
then he nod his head and usually I'll release him

any comment/ advise?

SandraLo
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twg:

不明白他因何發脾氣...... 會不會是 attention seeking ? 因為你在傾電話不理他?

其實都係用番行為矯正法 (behavioral modification),今晚再講,依家重未放工!
SandraLo
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twg:

Sorry 遲了覆!

小朋友發脾氣一般都是想好快咁攞到想要,但媽咪未必俾嘅嘢,或者係attention seeking,即是說,引起你的注意她便滿足,就算是引起你罵他!現在徦設我們都不知道他為什麼發脾氣,但依然可進行「行為矯正」。

其實非常簡單,你用讚他一個好的行為來代替罵或者「話」他一個不當的行為。不要以為簡單便無效……
你說他每日有兩三次無故發脾氣,打人、大叫和掉嘢,於是這個便是不當的行為;相對地,他好的行為便是不發脾氣的時候。
好啦!我猜你不和他一起時他是不會發作的,當你和他在家好端端時,便讚他:bb好乖喎,冇發脾氣,冇打人又冇掉嘢喎,好好呀,我地一齊食雪糕啦 (可以是看TV或講故事,只要他喜歡的,hug一吓亦可)!
注意不可以在他發脾氣時才用這些話試圖安撫,所以 timing 很重要。第一次用的那一天,可以早午晚講一次;假如他有次真的發了,不要罵或者「話」,只用堅定的語氣告訴他一次他打人和掉嘢不對 (他未必完全明什麽叫發脾氣),然後可以用番你的方法罸他或ignore 他,要注意的是他吵鬧時你不可有任何反應,即是不可表現嬲,不可罵或話 (比如同佢講:我話咗你啦….又俾我罸….衰唔衰呀等) 甚至說話都可免則免;另外不好罸關在房中,因你見不到他只會更担心他在做些什麽,罸站或坐 naughty chair 也可,他離開便將他抱回,之後,簡單告訴他多一次他錯什麽,要他 say sorry,然後hug 他一吓,不用叫他當時解釋原因 (我猜他自己不會知道,也未識表達),但可以往後閒談時再傾番!

有什麽問題沒有?
twg
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hi SandraLo

thanks for handling my problem and I will try your method
but the difficulty is he will chase me and seek my hug
every time when I carry him to the naughty corner (to sit/ to stand), he will try his best to stick to me everywhere I go and continue to cry and hit me
how could I control this behaviour?
and the big burden is my 6299, they won't buy my method of teaching when my son lost his temper
so everytime I try, I failed to control my son
SandraLo
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twg:

I understand that with 62 and 99 at home, you can never work this out because they don't want to see their grandson crying.

When your son loses his temper, may be you just ignore him instead of punishing him. I suggest that you take him to your bedroom and lock the door so that you are alone with him. Just stay with him and tell him (once or twice only) you will hug him only when he calm down. Remember not to react and not to talk; he will learn after some time that crying and throwing things will NOT get any of your attention and he will improve.

That's the only method I can think of with 6299 at home. But may be the "praise" method works well and the problem is solved !
sa2501
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twg, agree with what SandraLo said about doing a "time-out" together. not as a punishment/discipline, but to calm down.

i keep reminding myself this when my son tantrums:
i will always be calm (as best as i can ) and i am always here to help you to cope with your frustration.

i ignore bad behaviour, but i never ignore my child.

this is what happened to my 22 month old few days ago. (he is not a hitter, he hardly ever hits when he tantrums, only throw himself on the floor). we went out during the day and he only had a short nap. when we were home in the evening he was upset over every little things. i kept my "cool" throughout and did a lot of "re-directs".

finally after bath, he was angry (i forgot what was the reason now ) and raised his hand to me. i caught his hand, shaked my head. looked into his eyes and said to him,"honey i know you are tired, tell mummy what you want". he calmed down immediately and said, "milk milk".

in this situation, i didn't say, "don't hit mummy" because i think when he is angry he can only hear "hit". i do "validation", telling him mummy understand how he feels. i "teach" him by asking him to speak to mummy.

may be not a very good example here, but hope you can see from a different way of parenting that might change your view too

i see from your ticker you have a younger baby? do you think he might be jealous of the little one? find out what's the reason behind and help him to cope with his frustration.
wingwingkam
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Dear All ,

我的女兒今年已 2 years , 下年 k1 了 . 亦是很心急 , 想要的事 , 要很快比到佢 . 若要佢等 , 就不有耐性 . 就心急叫 call 唔該 , 我要 , 我要 .
佢是很活躍 , 喜歡走來走去 , 理解能力很強的小朋友 , 請問如若你小朋友是這性格 , 你們會比佢地讀什麼形式幼稚園 ? 要嚴格德行學校, 等佢慢慢學好行為 ? 活動教學? 待覆 . tks

wingwingkam
SandraLo
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wingwingkam 寫道:
Dear All ,
我的女兒今年已 2 years , 下年 k1 了 . 亦是很心急 , 想要的事 , 要很快比到佢 . 若要佢等 , 就不有耐性 . 就心急叫 call 唔該 , 我要 , 我要 .
佢是很活躍 , 喜歡走來走去 , 理解能力很強的小朋友 , 請問如若你小朋友是這性格 , 你們會比佢地讀什麼形式幼稚園 ? 要嚴格德行學校, 等佢慢慢學好行為 ? 活動教學? 待覆 . tks
wingwingkam


個人覺得活動式教學、輕鬆的學習環境,永遠都較吹谷/嚴格的學校好,也適合所有小朋友!
你囡囡的性急性格,好有可能係你地習慣咗「即時滿足佢嘅需要」,所以佢唔想等亦唔慣等,去咗學校嘅環境,好大機會係一啲問題都冇,尤其是你話佢理解能力強!
bblui
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sa2501, SandraLo & everyone,

can i ask u for some advice pls? coz my 18mth old baby is getting aggressive lately... he's ok with us, but when he's at the playground, he can get quite hostile to other kids/babies... e.g. he'll try to snatch away toys that the others r playing (toys which don't belong to my son)... or he'll try to push others when they r occupying his favourite swings... i kept telling him to be gentle/ to share.. blablabla.. & apologise to the other kids for his behaviour... he's been acting like this for abt1 month lu and there seems to be no improvement... is this what they call terrible 2? he can't talk right now.. ppl say he'll be better once he can express himself... but meanwhile, what else cna i do? i'm deeply embarrassed with his behaviour... but i still want to bring him to the park everyday to mix around with other kids... any suggestions would be welcome... thank u...
sa2501
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hi bblui,

if he is not ready for this kind of activity, i would leave early and try another time. this is becoming stressful for both of you and sound like you and baby are not enjoying it.

you are doing great to tell him to share/to be gentle ..etc. if he tantrums, take him aside to calm down. ask him if he is ready to play nicely, if not i would leave the place. not as a punishment, just tell him calmly i see you are tired, let's go home and have a rest.

sometimes when there are too much stimulation, babies simply can't take it and act up in public.

go with your love one's pace, not yours. if he is not ready for socialising, try later. i promise he will be better once he is more verbal.

hope this helps.
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